The days go by. This ten minutes of writing is so important. Little slices of life recorded. I had a new inverter installed on the mountain, to upgrade the power system there. And a few days later I also had a new charge controller put in as well, to prevent the batteries overcharging. I keep thinking that I will go back to living there, but I have not been able to do so. It is too hurtful to me, there are too many memories that haunt me. When Pete died, he took the life out of the house he had built. My life was drained a great deal as well with the loss of his laughter, his strength, his determination and love of life. The house was so infused with him, that it was impossible for me to be there without overwhelming grief. I do not know what to do. If I sell it now, the real value of it will not be realized, and the experts say that a widow should wait as many years as possible before taking any actions. Many widows lose because in their grief, they make bad financial choices. Yet I need to be free to go on with a new life.
In the meantime, I fill my days with the quiet contentment of the Sun City home. Planting a garden and improving the house inside and out gives me tremendous mental relief and satisfaction. Right now the garage door no longer operates, the garbage disposal does not work, the fluorescent lights in the bath and kitchen need replacing, and the screen doors also need to be repaired. I think that Baum has it in mind to buy me a new dishwasher for Christmas. He mentioned it once and then a second time he said that he "knew what he wanted to buy you for Christmas, but it is not a personal gift". That would be nice; I have never had a dishwasher. It is a convenience to have a clothes washer and dryer, as I have never had those before either. My gratitude for the Sun City home is certain, and I thank Pete for that. He left me with some property assets, bless his heart.
No comments:
Post a Comment